Everytime muflashback ang smile, ang kaki.at, kasweet, kasabaan sakong sis... di mapugngan akong luha mag huna2 nya bisag asa pako padung, I miss her a lot. Dghan keung what if manggawas 😢😔😢😢
Everytime muflashback ang smile, ang kaki.at, kasweet, kasabaan sakong sis... di mapugngan akong luha mag huna2 nya bisag asa pako padung, I miss her a lot. Dghan keung what if manggawas 😢😔😢😢
The sad truth that a friend has left us forever
visiting my lola at the memorial chapel last night as both enlightening and an episode trigger again.
sad, not because of her death. but because of how i have become. more than 8 years of detachment, of isolation, of brewing hatred, of useless vengeance... it indeed felt like a total stranger in the room. everyone recognizes the yanyan they know, and were glad to see me again. i didn't feel the same in return tho. i felt cold. i barely recognized others. it was intimidating at the same time.
i have i really forgotten my old... self?
because i couldn't remember a few. mura kog na amnesia pgkita nila.
i was on the verge of crying multiple times, it was too overwhelming, and had to pinch myself so bad that i soon noticed blood on my finger that i felt the need to rush to the bathroom to clean it up. it must be really that awful that even with self-inflicted pain didn't even bothered me. a pain more deeper than a cut. i even flicked my mother away because she felt i was uneasy and attempted to console. she knew something's not ok with me. and yet i want her to NOT notice me... because i knew i would break down if she did it. i had to pull myself together. and eventually decided to take a walk outside the building.
a first in 5 years, i decided to take a cigarette again to calm myself down. useless.
got mad at it and tore the thing apart with my hands while it was still lit up. this morning i jst noticed a small blister sa akong palm, which i didn't felt at all last night.
i stayed at the entrance for the rest of the evening, till we decided to leave pag kadlawn.
ng.tanga ra ddto.
no matter what facade i try to put up, i can't deny the fact nga gimingaw kos mga ninglabay.
makes me want to take the pill again and accept random hkups from apps that will never fill in the void inside.
let's face it, gibraal. you're fcked up.
there.
okay.
Last edited by gibra'al; 02-07-2016 at 01:34 PM.
nagool ko kay nagool mo :P haha
migraine attack
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